Sleeping Beauty, YGO Style
by straykitty
Summary: RESURRECTED! Ah, yes, the madness continues as promised! Will Yami handle the crossdressing? Will Serenity ever overcome her shyness? Will Tristan keep his hands to himself? To find out, click and read! Don't forget to R&R! CHAPTER TWO UP! FINALLY!
1. Prologue

_Here we go, after a lo-o-o-ong period of waiting (thanks to Writer's Block and horrible compy troubles), it's time to cut the ribbon and offically post Sleeping Beauty, YGO Style._

_-cuts-_

_-much applause, streamers, confetti, etc.-_

_Enjoy!_

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**Disclaimer: I do not own YGO, or Disney, or Sleeping Beauty, or anything at all except Kiara and her cousin. (you shall meet her forthwith!)**

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It was with some excitement that the postman was greeted at the Moto house.

"Yes! The catalogue!" yelled Yugi, practically falling down the stairs.

He was followed more demurely, but at equal speed, by Yami, who shook his head at Yugi's words. "I don't think so, Yugi. It's probably just a letter from my pen pal."

"No, I'm _sure_ it's the catalogue!" Yugi skidded to a stop by the door, almost falling over. "It said 'allow for three weeks delivery'."

Yami pulled the door open, and smiled at the postman. "Hello, sir." The postman seemed taken aback at being greeted – he'd obviously been expecting to just slide the mail through the slot in the door or put it in the post box.

Yugi elbowed Yami out of the way, grinning. He noted that the man was not the usual postman, but figured that _everyone_ got sick, so why not postmen?

"This is for…" The postman checked the label on a large rectangular parcel, the sight of which made Yami smirk. That was no catalogue, for _sure_. "…Misters Moto?"

Yami blinked. "Mister_s_? As in plural? Are you sure?"

The postman gazed short-sightedly at the print, and then held the item out for Yami's inspection. "That's what it says."

Yami took the parcel and read the label. The postman had been right – it _was_ for both of them. He smiled, feeling an excitement building within him at the prospect of a mystery gift. "Well, that's us! Anything else?"

"Nope, just that," the postman answered cheerfully. He tipped his hat to the boys and nodded. "Good day."

"You too!" said Yugi, and closed the door. He turned to Yami, who was examining the parcel, his face alive with curiosity, and asked, "Who's it from?"

"No idea… it doesn't say…"

"Let's open it!" yelled Yugi, grabbing the parcel and running back up the stairs.

Yami blinked, and then began to run after him. "Hey! _Yugi_! Wait!"

The shorter teen was faster than his older counterpart, however, and in the time it took Yami to climb the stairs and enter the room they shared Yugi had already put the parcel on his desk and started to unwrap it. It appeared to be a large book, with a leather cover and, amidst several jewels set on the cover, it said in golden calligraphy, _Sleeping Beauty_.

"I wonder who it's from!" Yugi exclaimed, carefully lifting the cover.

Yami, who had been concentrating on the book's magic aura, opened his mouth to shout a warning, but when Yugi finished opening with book, nothing happened. Relaxing slightly, he advanced on the book and looked down to read what it said on the first page.

"A souvenir, from your pal, Kiara…"

And then, the next page turned itself, and the world… _shuddered_.

Quite suddenly, they were standing in a large hall with a stage on one end. (1) A very _familiar_ large hall with a stage on one end.

There was a long pause, after which Yugi blinked and then said, with great sincerity of feeling, "…shoot."

Yami sighed and turned towards the stage. "Okay, Kiara," he called, his deep voice echoing in the almost-empty room. "You can come out. We know you're in here!"

A Kiara-free silence.

"I'm not in the mood for this, Kiara! What do you want?"

"Hello, gentlemen."

The voice came from behind them, making Yami's head snap around so fast Yugi could have sworn that he heard a pop. He turned, at a more sedate pace, and saw…

"Where's --?"

"Miss Pendragon? On leave."

It took Yami a few seconds to work out who this was supposed to be. A few seconds that Yugi didn't apparently need – he had a knack for remembering things like that about people, Yami'd noticed. "On leave? I didn't know Kiara _got_ leave."

"Then who are –"

There was a high-pitched squeal, and a multicoloured blur cannoned into Yami's side. He toppled over, only to see Yugi getting a similar treatment. As the smaller of the two hit the floor, the blur slowed back to normal speed, revealing it to be Kiara, dressed in a green-and-blue skirt, purple-and-yellow top, bright pink slipslops and orange legwarmers on her arms, for some unknown reason.

The other girl frowned. "Ki, you're supposed to be gone."

"Ah, shucks! So good to know I'm _so_ loved." Kiara grinned and slung an arm over Yami's shoulder, nearly knocking him out. "I'm not taking the leave. I just decided I couldn't miss out on another whole… hey, where _is_ Seto, anyway?"

"All in good time, cousin." The other girl grinned. "I, unlike some of us, planned this in advance."

"Plan, shman!" Kiara shook her head and threw her hands in the air, again almost decapitating Yami. "I don't need a plan… Spontaneous is my middle name!"

"…I thought it was Lizbettalica."

Kiara made a face. "I thought we promised not to do that."

"Sorry," her cousin said, having the grace to look shamefaced.

Kiara's eyes gleamed. "It's all right… Maribellann."

"_Kiara_!"

Kiara bowed, with much flamboyant waving of her arms. "Merely returning the favour, dearest cousin."

Bakura sniggered, breaking the silence that had fallen on those without known middle names. He inclined his head to Kiara's cousin in a gesture of thanks, and then walked over to a black plastic chair – the type that appear in every single hall, worldwide, for no known reason – and slung himself onto it. "Well, Lizbettalica? What's going on? Why are we back here?"

Kiara glared at him at the sound of her middle name, and then, when he had finished, pointed at him and glared at her cousin. "There! You see what you've gone and done?"

Her cousin grinned impishly at her. "All's fair in love and war, dearest cousin."

"You know, I hate being ignored," Bakura said, looking absently up at the ceiling and toying with a dagger. Yami rolled his eyes, letting out a loud, fake cough to hide – only just barely – the words 'drama king'.

Kiara and her cousin giggled.

"All right," Kiara said soothingly, walking over to Bakura and seating herself on his lap. "What is it that's bothering kurie-wurie? What can Auntie Kiara do to make the boo-boo go away?"

Bakura gave her a look that, if looks could kill, would have reduced Kiara to a pile of smouldering ashes. She smiled and clapped her hands in child-like glee. He growled and pushed her off of his lap.

She landed on the floor with an audible thump and scrambled to her feet, glaring back at him. "Well?"

"What. Are. We. Doing. Here?" Bakura growled. As Serenity appeared behind him with a soft click, he shook his head and added, "_Aladdin_ is finished, remember?"

"We're not stupid, Bakura," Kiara's cousin said flatly. "We realised that."

Bakura made a show of being shocked. "You're _not_?" The faked shock slid off of his face like an egg out of an over-greased frying pan. "Answer the question."

"Wait until everyone else arrives – oh, Serenity! Welcome!" Kiara looked around and frowned. "Hang on, where's Joey?"

Serenity waved shyly and shrugged. "At home, I presume. He said he was going to Mai's, but he'd be back by now."

Kiara and her cousin exchanged glances. Bakura snickered, and Yami hid his grin with a hand.

"What the – oh. It's _you_."

Kiara turned and smiled. "Hello to you, too, darling Tea. It is, indeed, _me_." She poked herself in the middle of her forehead for emphasis. "Ouch."

Tea looked around warily. "So, what is it this time?"

"All in good time," the cousins chorused.

There was an odd, muffled _clink_ that sounded a little more like _clank_, and the lights died. Kiara's cousin swore profusely, to a backing track of Kiara sniggering.

"All right, Tristan, we know you're in here!" came Joey's playfully accusing voice.

There was an audible grin in Kiara's voice as she said, "Nope, not yet, darling. But we are! My cousin's just had a problem with the lights."

"They were supposed to get their own books," her cousin snapped waspishly. "Not _my_ fault if loverboy over there decides to screw around with my system."

There was a silence in which Joey thanked any gods who happened to be around for the fact that no one could see his blush.

"Actually," Mai said, holding back a laugh. "It's _my_ system he's screwing with." (2)

Cue awkward pause, in which Mai snorted and giggled. Joey sunk to the floor, realising immediately that he was never _ever_ going to live this down.

"I'm _kidding_! Geez," Mai complained when everyone else exchanged glances with patches of air in the vague area of where they remembered other people to be. "Can't you people take a joke?"

"Mai," Joey croaked hoarsely, his voice pained. "Please don't."

The lights flickered back into existence, revealing Mai pouting and glaring at Joey, who was slumped down by a wall, not looking at her. Serenity looked from one to the other, not entirely sure what had passed between them.

Kiara's cousin glared at everyone and pulled a list from her pocket, using a pen from behind her ear to cross one or two things off. She looked around expectantly, and then smiled triumphantly when Tristan appeared next to Serenity. "Right on schedule."

Tristan coughed. "Um, whose schedule exactly? Because I don't have a clue where I am…"

"You're _here_," Bakura said, not very helpfully, while Duke appeared behind a chair, fell over and bumped his head on it, beginning to swear.

Serenity smiled up at her brother's friend. "Don't you remember? Aladdin? This is the same hall."

"Oh, yeah. I knew it looked familiar." Tristan glared at Kiara. "I practically had to go to therapy for that," he accused.

Kiara smiled back at him, cocking her head to one side. "Therapy is good, Trissy darling."

Joey snorted – the after-effect of an attempt to quash his laughter. Tristan scowled at him, and sat down, folding his arms across his chest. "My name is _Tristan_," he said, directing the response and his scowl at Kiara.

"That's lovely dear," Kiara said distractedly, tapping the head of a bobbing-head-dog that had suddenly appeared in mid air. As the head bobbed, she squealed with childish delight and clapped her hands. Her cousin smacked her forehead.

"Kiara!" Ryou's startled voice made them all look up. Even Kiara pulled herself away from the bobbing-head-dog (which promptly vanished, possibly the work of Kiara's cousin) to wave hello and grin at him.

"What's going –?"

"They're not going to tell us until everyone is here," Bakura interrupted manner-of-factly, twirling the dagger on the tip of his finger and catching it effortlessly when gravity reasserted itself.

Kiara's cousin nodded. "Too right! Don't worry; they'll all be here within minutes. I spaced the last few much closer together."

Barely seconds after the words had left her mouth, Seto Kaiba sprang into being behind her, closely followed by Mokuba. His lips curled in distaste as he realised where he was. Mokuba grinned and ran over to Kiara to give her a hug.

"Mokie! How are you, chum?" Kiara asked, grabbing Mokuba in a headlock and proceeding to give him a noogie.

Mokuba giggled and tried to wriggle out of her grip. "All the better for seeing you!"

Seto frowned at him. "You told me you were _sick_," he said accusingly. "Too sick for school, if I remember correctly."

"Yes, big brother," Mokuba said, finally freeing himself from Kiara. "I _am_ too sick to go to school. But not too sick to see Kiara!" He smiled, as though the matter was now resolved.

Seto's frown did not fade. "We will discuss this later."

"…okay…"

"Seto, dahlink! My favourite bunny rabbit! How are you?" Kiara asked, walking over to Seto with arms outstretched.

The taller teen did not offer her any reply, merely scowling. Marik and Ishizu popped into existence in front of him, saving him from having to be on the receiving end of one of Kiara's hugs, which was currently being administered to Marik, as he'd been in the way.

"GET OFF OF ME!" he yelled, squirming furiously. Ishizu giggles helplessly.

Kiara let go, sticking her tongue out at Marik, and turned to Ishizu. The two embraced as sisters embrace, and as they parted Ishizu glanced around and asked, "So, how come you're here? You said in your letter you were taking some leave..."

"She is, _technically_," Kiara's cousin said, extending a hand. "I'm her cousin, and I'm _technically_ running the show here."

"Technically," echoed Kiara, grinning. She looked around. "I think it's introduction time, actually. Practically everyone's here."

"Right." Kiara's cousin walked onto the stage and clapped her hands to draw everyone's attention to her. "Your scripts!" she commanded, and a sheaf of neatly stapled papers appeared in every pair of hands. "Right… As you will see on the second page, I have included a cast list." She grinned at them and pulled a remote from her pocket, pointing it at a small black box next to her. A large copy of the cast list was projected onto the wall behind her.

_**SLEEPING BEAUTY: THE MOVIE  
**__**STARRING: The YGO cast** _

_**Aurora:** Serenity Wheeler_

_**Phillip: **Tristan Taylor_

_**Flora:** Ishizu_

_**Fauna:**Tea Gardener_

_**Merryweather:** YamiYugi_

_**King Stefan:** Seto Kaiba_

_**The Queen:**Ishizu Ishtar_

_**King Hubert:** Joseph Wheeler_

_**Maleficent:** Mai Valentine_

_**The Crow:** Mokuba Kaiba_

_**Extras:** Ryou Bakura; Marik Ishtar; Yugi Moto; Duke Devlin; Other Random People_

"I'm the main character?" Serenity gasped, her eyes going wide.

Tristan looked around, and then sidled up to Joey. "Um… I've never seen this movie. Who's Phillip?"

"You've never seen it?" Ishizu gaped at him, having overheard. "You poor, deprived child! It's one of my favourite movies! Phillip is the Prince!"

Tristan blinked, and then stared at Kiara, looking utterly stunned. "You-you-you… you made _me_ the main character?"

Before Kiara could open her mouth, her cousin replied for her. "Not her, me." She smiled happily and then added, "But she did agree to it."

Kiara grinned and nodded. "I decided that, since you had such a small bit in _Aladdin_, you should have a nice _big_ one in _Sleeping Beauty_!"

"Oh." Tristan looked startled, but slowly began to smile as he realised what this _meant_. "Thanks!"

Joey had also realised what it meant. "If you so much as put one stinkin' finger on my sister that is not required by the script," he warned. "I will beat you to a pulp."

"Subtle, mutt," Kaiba snorted.

Tristan held up his hands in surrender. "I won't, don't worry," he said, smiling as if it were a huge joke, but something in his eyes went '_Aw, nuts!_' "I wasn't even thinking about it."

"Yeah?" Joey relaxed. "Well, just, ya know, don't cross the line."

"I won't," Tristan said reassuringly. He glanced up at the projection. Joey followed his gaze, and then laughed.

"Hey, isn't Merryweather a _girl_?" he managed to snort out when everyone looked at him enquiringly.

Yami suddenly looked very affronted. "Is there a _reason_ my name is next to hers, then? Because last time I checked I was soundly _male_!"

"You have to check?" Kiara's cousin asked, feigning concern.

Yami glared at her and crossed his arms over his chest, pouting – adorably, although he didn't realise it – and started to sulk.

Kiara snickered. "Oh, calm down, Yami darling. It was that or the Princess, and I **know** you don't want to have _that_ part!"

Yami did not say anything, but his pout did soften somewhat.

Kiara's cousin cleared her throat. "Let me introduce myself," she said, waving her arms grandly and almost concussing Pegasus as he appeared behind her. "My name is Serena Swiftfeather."

"How marvellous," Pegasus said dryly. "Now, do tell, what am I doing here?"

Kiara waved at him and grinned. "Oh, I thought you might enjoy being an extra, Pegs."

Pegasus pretended to mull this over. He cocked his head first to one side, and then the other, before finally pronouncing, "Oh, all right. Seeing as I can't get back without your help anyway."

"Perfect!" exclaimed Kiara and Serena, exchanging delighted glances.

Serena clapped, and a large box appeared beside her. "Right, enough chit-chat. Everyone get into your costumes for the first scene while Kiara and I get ready for the Prologue bit, all right?"

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(1) Sound familiar? –wink, wink– Yes, I _am_ shamelessly back-shadowing. There a problem? 

(2) Ah, yes, that good old below-the-belt-humour… -snicker-

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_So, what did you think? I love reviews! (Uhm, yeah, that was a hint. A rather UNsubtle hint. Wink, nudge, etc.)_

_-straykitty_


	2. Chapter 1

_Sorry for the wait; computer problems, as per damnfoolstupid usual. -groans- I really need to hit this thing with a baseball bat. I think that might make me feel a little better..._

_

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_**Disclaimer: No, I do _not_ own YGO, or Disney, or anything else I happen to mention. I only own Kiara and Serena.**

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"All right," Serena said cheerfully, squirting a disgruntled-looking Duke with her water-pistol. "We're ready for the prologue. Ki, do you want to narrate? You know I have the voice for silent movies."

Duke sniggered, squeezing the water out from his top. Serena frowned at him, and aimed the pistol in a mildly threatening manner.

Kiara picked up a microphone and cleared her throat in it, making the echoes of a thousand throat-clearings bounce from wall to wall. She smiled cheerily and then said quietly, "One, two, three, four… clap hands, open up the door!" When the last remnants of the powerful resonance of this little offering died, she frowned at the microphone.

"Far too echoish," she decided, fiddling with a knob on the side of the thing.

Kaiba winced, removing his hands from their protective position over his ears. "_No_, you _don't_ say."

Kiara rolled her eyes and tried again. "One, two. Testing, testing. Peter Piper packed a peck of pickled peppers. If pickled peppers are purple, how many pickled purple peppers did Peter Piper pick?"

"Satisfactory," said Serena, pulling a director's chair from a pocket of air above Yami's head, almost concussing him. She unfolded it and placed it next to a giant book, the pages of which could be turned by the string in Pegasus's hands. The front of the book was identical to the ones that had propelled the gang back to Kiara's hall, with _Sleeping Beauty_ on the front in curly golden letters.

Sitting down, she pulled a bullhorn out from under the chair and boomed, "Ready? Set? ACTION!"

Pegasus dutifully pulled on the string, and the cover of the book swung open, revealing the first page, on which – in the same style of calligraphy as the front, were the words Kiara read.

"In a far away land, long ago, lived a king and his fair queen," Kiara began, using as much melodrama and 'storyteller-style' inflection as she could without falling over. "Many years had they longed for a child and finally their wish was granted. A daughter was born, and they called her Aurora."

Pegasus turned the page at a signal from Serena.

"Yes, they named her after the dawn for she filled their lives with sunshine. Then a great holiday was proclaimed throughout the kingdom, so that all of high or low estate might pay homage to the infant princess. And our story begins on that most _joyful_ day."

Kiara waved her hands and turned the microphone back off before bowing.

"Huzzah!" Serena grinned, standing up and doing a jig. "We're on our way!"

Kiara straightened and gave her a mock-standing-ovation, prompting her cousin to finish her jig with a pose and a bobbed curtsey.

"Right, where's the Crowd?" Serena asked, looking around. There was a scuffling of feet, and then a door appeared next to her chair. She knocked on it.

"Who's there?" quavered a voice from within.

"Abbot," Serena replied swiftly, a cheeky grin starting to tug at her lips.

The voice paused and then asked suspiciously. "Abbot who?"

"_Abbot_ _time_ you came out of there and did your scene!" Serena whooped. Kiara began to laugh hysterically, as though that was the absolute _funniest_ joke she'd ever heard. Bakura and Kaiba groaned, and Duke rolled his eyes.

The Crowd peeked out of their door. "That wasn't funny," they said flatly.

"Good. That was the point. Now go do the scene…" Serena waved her pistol threateningly. "…or get soaked!"

"Oh, all right," the Crowd grumbled, taking their time to move out of the door and onto the set, which was visible now that Pegasus had tugged a lever and made the book drop through a sudden hole in the floor. "Keep your shirt on."

"I will if you will," Serena told them with a gracious wave of her hand, which incidentally passed right through the door beside her, making it vanish out of sheer embarrassment.

The Crowd took up their pennants and costumes, some mounting horses and others climbing into carriages. If one watched carefully, one would see that they were slowly becoming stylised, to match the drawings in the book.

Kiara slammed two shoes together and said, "Marker!"

"Action." Serena stuck her tongue out at her cousin, who put the shoes behind her back and smiled innocently.

The crowd began to march down the street, singing gaily and waving their pennants in time to the music.

"_Joyfully now to our princess we come,  
Bringing gifts and all good wishes too.  
We pledge our loyalty anew.  
Hail to the princess Aurora!_"

Kiara glared at Joey and Tristan, who sheepishly stopped doing beatbox noises in the background.

_  
_"_All of her subjects adore her!  
Hail to the King!  
Hail to the Queen!  
Hail to the princess Aurora!  
Health to the princess,  
Wealth to the princess,  
Long live the princess Aurora!  
Hail Au-ro-ra!  
Hail Au-ro-ra!  
Health to the princess,  
Wealth to the princess,  
Long live the princess Aurora!  
Hail to the King!  
Hail to the Queen!  
Hail to the princess Aurora!_"

"Scene change!" Serena bellowed, opening an invisible door for the Crowd to rush back into. Pegasus pulled another lever, which exchanged the outside scenery for the magnificent interior of the throne room.

Kiara cleared her throat and began to speak into her microphone again. "Thus on this great and joyous day did all the kingdom celebrate the long awaited royal birth. And good King Stefan and his Queen made welcome their life long friend."

"Their royal highnesses, King Hubert and Prince Phillip!" announced Ryou, stepping smartly out of the way to let Joey and a small boy that looked suspiciously like Tristan at age four walk past towards Ishizu and Kaiba, who were sitting on the thrones. Ishizu kept adjusting her crown, which was slightly too big for her. Kaiba wore a glare designed, if looks could kill, to reduce everyone in the room to piles of smouldering ash.

Joey, also wearing a crown and, unfortunately enough for him, a suitable amount of padding around the waist, approached the throne. Kaiba rose and, giving Kiara and Serena a shot of the famed Kaiba Glare™, hastily embraced Joey, letting go at the soonest moment possible.

"Fondly had these monarchs dreamed one day their kingdoms to unite," continued Kiara as young-Tristan bowed quite formally and _very_ cutely to the still-seated Ishizu. "Thus today would they announce that Phillip, Hubert's son and heir to Stefan's child would be betrothed."

Dutifully, young-Tristan peeped into the cradle that presumably contained a baby version of Serenity. His nose wrinkled in the instinctive reaction of little boys to babies of any sort.

"And so to her his gift he brought, and looked, unknowing, on his future bride…"

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_Tada! So, what did you think about my first foray into the world of Sleeping Beauty?_

_Oh, yeah, and I **think** there's a typo in the Prologue; it says Ishizu is playing two roles. Not so. Actually, her darling brother, Marik, is taking the esteemed role of Flora. Sorry about that!_

_:meow:  
straykitty_


	3. Chapter 2

_Aloha, everyone! What a surprise, eh? An actual update and - only after, say, OVER A YEAR! -facepalm- Apologies for the verrah long delay y'all._

_Anyway, if there are still any readers out there... enjoy!_

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**Disclaimer: I do not have ownership of Yu-Gi-Oh! or the characters thereof. Nor do I own Sleeping Beauty or any of _its_ characters. Nor am I making any profit from them.**

**All I own is Kiara... and... the ceiling.**

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There was a cracking noise

Kiara blinked rapidly for a few moments, and then stared at herself in a convenient mirror hanging in the air before her. "Whoa," she mumbled in disbelief, poking at her new short black hair. "Interesting." She looked up at the ceiling, ignoring the frozen forms of the Yu-Gi-Oh cast around her, and bit her lip confusedly. "What happened?" she asked, her brow wrinkling.

_Time._

The word bypassed the realm of sound, arriving straight in her brain. She winced as it did, as having that volume projected basically right into her eardrums was pretty intense. "Er, what?" she asked as soon as the ringing in her skull stopped and coherence was possible.

_Time has passed._

"And… so? Time always passes. It's why these movie thingies always take a bazillion years to finish," she pointed out, logically. It took a bit of getting used to, but the speaker – as it were – had noticed her discomfort and toned down the effects, which helped considerably.

The voice sounded a bit irritable now. _Yes, but __**more**__ time, Kiara. You have been in stasis with the cast and Serena for a __**very**__ long time. Things have happened. A has grown up a bit._

"STASIS?!"

_Stasis._

Kiara pouted. "I'm usually the one doing the freezing," she whined, flopping ungracefully onto the floor and crossing her legs. "Explain what's going onnnn!"

_You're behaving like a two year old. Not that it should really be unexpected._ The voice sighed, if something without breath could be described as 'sighing'. _Anyway, look, time has passed, and A has finally decided to resurrect the story. You're back alive, Kiara. In a few moments, I will unfreeze the cast, and you can get on with it again, just as if nothing happened._

Kiara scratched her head, and then shrugged, idly turning her fringe bright red. "Okay," she said, a weirdo accepting of weirdness.

_Good. Oh, and one more thing… You'll be alone again._

"Alone? But you just said –"

_Serena has ceased to exist. Her personality was not as developed as yours, I suppose, so A axed her._

Kiara gaped, and then her eyes went blank. After a moment, she regained her usual expression and grinned around at the place, apparently having entirely forgotten Serena's existence. Well, since Serena no longer existed in the universe, it was technically as though she had never existed at all, and hence Kiara's memory had… reasserted normality. Or what passes for normality in Kiara's head anyway.

_You may begin._

The world turned green… and started moving again. The green haze faded.

"– and then I sez, I sez –"

"If you hammer that blunt axe of an accent into the English language again, mutt, I will personally –"

Kiara smiled, her body relaxing as she watched the squabbling teens, and sighed happily. "This is more like it," she muttered with a grin, changing her hair back to normal with a vague flick of her hand, and skipping over to them, giving Kaiba a sound poke in the back of the head.

"Ouch!" The brunette spun around, glaring. "What was that for?" he demanded irritably.

"No reason," Kiara assured him sweetly, patting him gently on the head. "NOW," she continued, her voice suddenly amplified a hundred times, the force of it blowing Kaiba backwards a few feet, "LET'S FINISH THIS SCENE, SHALL WE?"

She pulled a convenient script out of the air and began to read it, walking back to her director's chair. It was there, with DIRECTOR on the back, only because she'd assumed that it would be. She had that effect on things. Bakura watched her walking and then switched his gaze to her chair, moving his eyes deliberately left just as she was about to sit down. The chair slid left, and Kiara sat down on… air.

"BAKURA," she said, glaring at him, her voice still amplified for some reason, "THAT WAS NOT FUNNY."

"Chyeah, it was," Bakura corrected her, smirking in a thoroughly self-satisfied manner.

Kiara rolled her eyes, sitting herself firmly down on the chair. "What. Ever." She looked back down at the script, muttering to herself as she read. "…mipmipmip… whurt? …ahaha… pfft, no… ooh… aw…" After about five minutes of this and similar, during which Marik went to lie spread-eagled in the middle of the set, fake-snoring loudly. When Tristan, Joey and Bakura joined him one by one, Kiara looked up and rolled her eyes, giggling despite herself. "Okay, I get the hint. Let's go, peoples! Ryou –"

"Yes, Kiara?"

"– start already!" Kiara finished impatiently, as though she hadn't just been wasting time reading over a script that was probably imprinted on the inside of her skull by this point. She reached under her chair and pulled out… a basket of water balloons. Kaiba groaned, and yanked his crown over his eyes. A bright, foxy grin lit up Kiara's face as she set four balloons flying through the air in the direction of the 'sleepers'.

There were splashes, curses, and laughter from the spectators, all except Serenity, who went to see if Joey was okay, and Kaiba, who wasn't watching, what with his crown being in the way and all.

"Positions, please?" Kiara said sweetly, throwing another water balloon up and down innocently.

With a bit of grumbling, and a few muttered curses from Kaiba as he tried to get his crown back up into place without ripping out his eyebrows – how had the thing gotten so small all of a sudden? – the cast got into position, and finally Kiara pointed her camera at them and shouted, for the first time in a very long time, "ACTION!"

Ryou cleared his throat and began to announce, "The most honoured and exalted Excellencies, the three good fairies: Mistress Flora, mistress Fauna, and mistress Merryweather."

A shaft of light suddenly appeared in the throne room, along which bobbed three little lights. As they reached the ground, they grew bigger, and finally faded, along with the light beam, to reveal Tea in green, Marik cross-dressing badly in pink – which actually looked rather pretty on him, complimenting his blonde hair – and poor Yami, once again with padding around the waist, a hat attached precariously to the tips of his spiky hair, and a poofy blue dress on. His face, and Marik's, looked like twin thunderclouds, although Marik did look a _little_ mollified by the fact that he got to be the LEADER, even if it **was** only of a bunch of fairies that included a beaming Tea.

The three rushed to the cradle, Yami tripping over his skirt and doing a face-plant on the way, and crowded around it, Tea immediately cooing with instinctive feminine gooey-ness at the sight of the baby. "Oh, the little darling!"

Marik rolled his eyes, and then grabbed the other two, yanking them to face Kaiba and Ishizu. The three curtseyed, although to call Marik's half-hearted knee-bend a curtsey was truthfully an over-exaggeration. Kiara waved a balloon threateningly, but he failed to see it, his back being towards her. Oddly, Yami's curtsey had been almost as good as Tea's. "Your majesties," the 'fairies' chorused.

"Each of us the child may bless with a single gift. No more, no less," Marik said in a monotone before clumping over to the cradle and staring blankly down at the baby, which grinned toothlessly at him and burbled senseless baby talk at him. His heart failed to melt, and he arched a cynical eyebrow, saying with a little more acting – having by now seen Kiara and her balloon – "Little princess, my gift shall be the gift of beauty." He waved his wand vaguely in the direction of the cradle, and whirling blue sparkles appeared over the cradle. A choir, presumably hidden in Kiara's pocket or something random, began to sing while images flickered above the cradle, ignored utterly by everyone except Serenity, who said, "Ooohh!"

_One gift, beauty rare  
Full of sunshine in her hair  
Lips that shame the red, red rose  
She'll walk with springtime  
Wherever she goes_

The images faded, and the blue sparkled dropped down onto the baby. Marik shrugged and stepped back, letting Tea take his place.

"Tiny princess," she said, clearly resisting the urge to start playing Peek-A-Boo, "my gift shall be the gift of song."

"Good thing too," Kaiba muttered. "The last thing we need is another Kiara-style singer." He looked up and then dove out of his throne, narrowly avoiding the water balloon that splashed against the headrest, making Ishizu leap from her seat with an undignified squeal as most of it landed on her.

Tea glared at the supposedly 'royal' pair, and then pouted at the room in general. "Why is it always me that gets interrupted?" she complained under her breath, dropping to a cross-legged position and folding her arms across her chest, sulking. Kiara, and everyone else, ignored her for the far more entertaining spectacle that was Ishizu tripping over Kaiba and falling onto him with a wet squelch. There immediately issued a very long stream of unintelligible swearing from Kaiba, who was now facedown in the carpet.

"Sorry!" gasped Ishizu, scrambling to her feet and then looking down at her clinging, soaking wet outfit with a deep sigh. She turned to Kiara, about to ask if she could go and change, but was halted by the arresting sight of Kiara's back half sticking out of what appeared to be thin air. Geez, that girl really takes advantage of those space-time continuum rips!

After quite a few moments of clanking, Kiara's head reappeared, grinning and covered in dust. "I'd forgotten where I'd left this baby!" she said triumphantly, waving a purple hula-hoop in the air. "Ah," said Yami, while everyone else occupied their facial muscles with looking either really weirded out or confused.

Kiara leapt off of her chair and skipped over to the dripping Ishizu, ignoring the mutterings about dry-cleaning bills from Kaiba, who was erect once again and was now inspecting the Ishizu-shaped watermark on his back. She faced Ishizu, and then brought the hula-hoop down around her. As it went, it dried her outfit and hair, and by the time it reached the floor the 'queen' was looking significantly happier.

"Thanks, Kiara," she said, stepping out of the hoop and smiling. At Kiara's silent pointing finger – she was concentrating on getting the hoop over Kaiba's head without, say growing an inch or two or maybe dislocating her arm – she returned to her throne, which had for some reason also dried.

When everyone was once again in position, Kiara threw an orange at Tea's head. "Ahem!" she called, when the girl looked up, rubbing her head and opening her mouth to utter a new round of complaints. "Action!"

At the magic word, Tea cheered up, bouncing to her feet and fixing her hat. Then, she looked over the cradle again and lifted her wand, waving it in a complicated motion over the baby. Green sparkles issued from its tip, and the images once again began to form over the baby's head in time to the mysterious choir of voices.

_One gift, the gift of song  
Melody her whole life long  
The nightingale's her troubadour  
Bringing her sweet serenade  
to her door_

Once again, the sparkling lights drifted down to land on the baby. Tea beamed down at the baby, and then stepped back to let Yami step forward, holding up the too-long skirt of his dress gingerly so that he didn't trip over it. "Sweet princess, my gift shall be ..."

The doors of the throne room swinging open cut him off, Kiara's dramatic-thunder-and-lightning sound effects bounced around the room, and – in a ream of dark smoke – Mai appeared in the room. She looked quite strange with her masses of blonde hair hidden under the horned headdress, but overall the effect of her costume was quite striking. Mokuba, with a cable attached to his back from above, 'flew' into the room, narrowly missing a pole.

"That was once me," Marik commented nostalgically, watching Kiara whip her stick around her head a few times for momentum before chucking it at Mokuba. As it made contact – painfully, making Kaiba leap to his feet indignantly, only to be yanked firmly back down by Ishizu – with the back of his skull, he shrunk to only about a foot high. The stick whirled around, pretending it was a boomerang, and returned to Kiara's hand. She grinned, and gestured at Mokuba who, after taking a moment to make certain he had made the change with all pieces intact, 'flew' onto Mai's shoulder.

"Why, it's Maleficent!" Marik deadpanned, completely killing the drama of the moment.

Yami prodded him in the side, making him yelp and glare at the spiky-haired fairy, and said, with a suitable glare at Mai, "What does she want here?" He made as though he was going to go and kick Mai right back out of the set, but Tea grabbed his sleeve, shushing him with a loud stage-whispered, "Shhh!"

Mai smirked, and then turned to face Kaiba – who just looked bored – and Ishizu, who was clutching Kaiba's arm as she watched Mai, wide-eyed. "Well, quite a glittering assemblage, King Stefan," Mai said, her eyes roving around the room. Joey waved, and got a water balloon in the face for his trouble. "Royalty, nobility, the gentry, and…" Mai's eyes landed on Tea and the Crossdressers – er, the fairies. "…how quaint, even the rabble."

Yami frowned and started towards her, his hands balling into fists, but Marik caught his cloak and pulled him back.

Ignoring them entirely, Mai continued, still in the same serene tone, gently stroking the green orb on the top of her staff. "I really felt quite distressed at not receiving an invitation."

Yami pulled himself free of Marik, and took a step forward, snapping, "You weren't wanted!"

Mai's eyes widened theatrically. "Not wa...? Oh dear, what an awkward situation. I had hoped it was merely due to some oversight. Well, in that event I'd best be on my way." She turned, as if to walk out of the door, but paused when Ishizu spoke haltingly.

"And you're not offended, your Excellency?"

Mai turned, and smiled, shaking her head lightly. "Why no, your majesty. And to show I bear no ill will, I, too, shall bestow a gift on the child."

Immediately, Yami and Tea backed towards the cradle, and after a moment Marik grudgingly joined them in their attempt to protect the baby. Mai did not stop walking, and eventually forced them aside. She looked down her nose at the baby, and smirked contemptuously for a moment. Then, she turned to the rest of the gathering and flung out her arms, bringing her staff down on the floor with a ringing crash. "Listen well, all of you! The princess shall indeed grow in grace and beauty, beloved by all who know her." Mai's tone, which up until now had been thick with irony, became darker and more serious, and she began to move one hand dramatically over the green orb on the top of her staff, casting her spell with the air of a prophetess, "But - before the sun sets on her sixteenth birthday, she shall prick her finger on the spindle of a spinning wheel and _die_!"

Ishizu was on her feet before the echoes had died, running to the cradle and gathering the baby tenderly in her arms. "Oh no!" Mai just began to laugh, throwing back her head and making her laughter as evil as possible.

Kaiba glared at the soldier types in the crowd. "Seize that creature!" he ordered, pointing at Mai accusingly.

As the guards, otherwise known as Yugi, in a uniform that was too big for him, Duke and Ryou, holding his spear gingerly, and as far away from himself as possible, advanced on Mai, she rolled her eyes, and then cried, "Stand back you fools!" before disappearing in a flash of green light, her laughter returning. Even after she had left, her laugh hung in the air, making the mood in the room pall considerably.

At a poke from Kiara (with a broomstick, if you must know), Marik muttered "Oh, right" and then cleared his throat, officially breaking the silence with, "Don't despair, your majesties. The cross-dressing Phar – I mean, Merryweather still has her gift to give."

Kaiba's attention snapped back from the air where Mai had been, at which he had been aiming his glare, as a cover for mentally working out the science behind Mai's performance. Because, obviously, magic doesn't _really_ exist. "Then she can undo this fearful curse?"

"Oh, no Kaiba," Yami said, and then bit his lip to stifle a yelp as he felt the broomstick dig into his side. "Imeansire," he mumbled, mashing his words together in his haste to say them and be done with it. Kiara pointed two fingers at her own eyes, and then at Yami in the classic 'I'm Watching You' gesture, but let it pass – this time.

"Maleficent's powers are far too great," said Marik, infusing a pessimism into his line that had not been there in the original.

Tea elbowed him in the ribs and chirped helpfully, "But she can help!"

Yami stared at her. "But ..."

"Just do your best," Marik encouraged, apparently quite enamoured with his pessimistic tone, which made his statement a whole lot less encouraging than it was supposed to be, "dear."

Joey snickered, and the four-year-old Tristan, who had been entertaining himself with a pair of white mice in the background for some time now, looked up to see what was happening.

Yami walked hesitantly up to the cradle and looked down at the baby as though it were some kind of foreign animal that might bite him if he did something wrong, which is of course accepted practise amongst confirmed bachelors. He glanced back at the other two, and Tea made an encouraging gesture. Marik pretended to be hanging himself, and got a smack with the stick for his troubles.

Rolling up his sleeves, Yami scrutinised the baby for a moment before waving his wand and reciting, "Sweet princess, if through this wicked witches trick a spindle should your finger prick, a ray of hope there still may be in this, the gift I give at thee. Not in death but just in sleep the fateful prophecy you'll keep, and from this slumber you shall wake when true love's kiss the spell shall break." The baby giggled to itself and tried to catch the little blue sparks of light that were now fluttering down over the cradle.

"_For true love conquers all…_" sang the random choir.

Kiara switched on her mike and said in her Narrator voice, "But King Stefan, still fearful of his daughter's life, did then and there decree that every spinning wheel in the kingdom should on that very day be burnt.

So it was done."

* * *

_And there you have it._

_As always (some things never change), reviews are welcomed!_

straykitty


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